Are you someone who has experienced an affair in your marriage?  Do you wonder how long it will take to trudge the long road back from this or a similar breach in trust...if it’s even possible?  If you are one of the partners involved in such an experience know that it is possible to come back from this.  Just be prepared for the long haul. 

How to Get Back on Track With Your Partner

The last point was a crucial one.  What led up to an affair probably took a long time to develop, so the way out will probably be long as well.  You need to be prepared for a long uphill trek:  one that will have ups and downs.  The downs can make you doubt whether the marriage will survive...or even be worth trying to make it work.  The key involves working on rebuilding trust, which takes time, and usually lots of it.  

Many Couples Experience Infidelity of Some Sort

The website Infidelityfacts.com states that 41% of marriages experience affairs, measured by whether the partner admits to it.  This is a huge number of marriages, and this only accounts for those who admit to it.  So the fact that you have experienced this in your marriage makes you part of a very large group indeed.  Not all marriages that experience this end in divorce, either.  So just because your marriage has been affected by this does not mean divorce is inevitable. Anyway, most of the time an affair is about the two spouses and something going wrong with them; rather than some mysterious outsider who stumbled into the picture.  That person is a symptom of what’s going wrong in the relationship, not someone who the spouse that’s involved with is better off with...despite any messages the other spouse has been given.  

You Owe It to Yourself and Your Marriage to Get Couples’ Counseling

There is no substitute for having an unbiased and truly qualified couples’ therapist to help you and your partner through the process of getting past the affair and rebuilding the trust that’s been eroded by the affair.  Getting to the root of the hurt and betrayal is a key point for most couples in eventually getting back on the road to marital bliss.  The relationship may very well never be the same after such an event, but that by no means that it’s not worth saving.  Add to that the fact that both of you are always changing in some way over the years, and it reinforces the idea that there is always something new to discover in your relationship with your partner.  Individual therapy can also be a key to recovering for both partners, particularly the offending partner.  Such individuals sometimes have issues with out of control sexual behavior.

What I Can Do To Help

I have worked with individuals and couples who've been involved in affairs, and can testify to the fact that you are much better off trying to navigate these waters with a qualified therapist like myself than to tread this situation on your own.  I have been trained specifically to work with men who experience out of control sexual behavior and how to fix this, so I can definitely help one half of the relationship pair in this case.  I have also worked with numerous couples who have issues with trust, and know that affairs aren't the end of any relationship.  Marriage can definitely be hard work, and I am more than willing to help you and your partner to regain the trust that’s been lost in an affair.  I can either do this for the husband in helping with his out of control sexual behavior, or with the couple to really get to the root of the issue.  I encourage you to give me a call at 512-648-3053 or email me at scott@scottkampschaeferlcsw.com to find out more about how I can help.  Whatever the case, you and your spouse need not suffer alone in such a difficult situation.  Reaching out for support is the first step to getting your marriage and relationship back on track.  

About the author:  Scott Kampschaefer, LCSW is a private practice therapist in Frederick, Maryland.  He has an extensive background in working with depression, anxiety, and bipolar disorder at a clinic for older adults with these disorders in Austin.  He now works with adults and adolescents of all ages in private practice.

Visit our page on sex addiction therapy to learn more about how Scott can help you with sex addiction.