Have you ever wondered why people who talk about sexual health never seem to address the issue of pleasure.  They may talk about meaning and purpose, and maybe even fulfillment; but little attention is given to sex feeling good.  This is because they leave out the sexual health principle of mutual pleasure.

Where Did the Passion Go

Have you ever found yourself in a relationship that lacked enjoyment and pleasure?  It’s all too easy to wind up in joyless relationships that are devoid of sexual pleasure.  All too often this has nothing to do with sex, but that’s beside the point. One of the interesting pieces of information I heard recently is that couples are having sex less in the last few years.  In my mind it has to do with not giving enough attention to what I’ll call The Pleasure Principle , which also happens to be the name of an old record album from the 20th century.

How Do I Get It Back?

The first thing that’s needed to get pleasure back is to realize that it’s missing.  That’s probably a no-brainer. The other thing is to be able to identify what does give you pleasure in your sexual relationships, and to find out if it is something that your partner(s) find pleasurable, too.  If it’s not, then you’ll need to find other ways to get the need for pleasure met. One way or another, if you can’t find some kind of sexual pleasure in your relationships you will probably go looking elsewhere for it.  Hopefully doing so won’t violate any agreements you have with your partner(s), because that could spell trouble in the long run.

Do I Need Therapy?

You may or may not, but if you’ve got a pattern of getting into unfulfilling relationships you probably need some therapy help.  There may be something in your personal or family background that tends to draw you to partners who aren’t available in some way, shape, or form.  If they don’t care about your pleasure, they probably have issues of their own. If you don’t think you deserve pleasure, you probably need to get to the root of that in therapy.  I can help shed light on these issues, as well as highlight the other 5 sexual health principles that have been adapted from the WHO (World Health Organization) and popularized by Douglas Braun-Harvey and Michael Vigorito in their book Treating Out of Control Sexual Behavior:  Rethinking Sex Addiction.  They are the first ones in my experience to suggest that treating what many call sex addiction doesn’t have to come at the expense of pleasure.  If you abstain from sexual behavior this is harmful for you, but you don’t have pleasure anywhere else in your life, you are caught in a huge conundrum.  I can help you figure out how to get out of it and to get the pleasure principle back in your life.

How I Can Help

I’ve been working with men who struggle with out of control sexual behavior or sex addiction for most of my professional career and can assure you that I can help you to learn the sexual health principles and to work with them successfully to help overcome the issues that can keep you shackled to unhappiness and futility.  I can be reached at 512-648-3053 to schedule a free 45-minute face to face, no obligation consult. You can also fill out the form below to find out more about how I can help you with your sexual relationship issues.  You’ve got nothing to lose and a fuller life to gain!

About the author:  Scott Kampschaefer, LCSW is a private practice therapist in Frederick, Maryland.  He has an extensive background in working with depression, anxiety, and bipolar disorder at a clinic for older adults with these disorders in Austin.  He now works with adults and adolescents of all ages in private practice.

Visit our page on sex addiction therapy to learn more about how Scott can help you with sex addiction.