Ever found yourself saying things like “I’m a good for nothing jerk (or worse)!” or saying the same thing about someone else?  Did you say it with conviction? If you did then you probably have some strong feelings attached to it and suffer from a problem called black and white thinking, in which case you need to read on.

Black and White Thinking is a Sign of the Times

At a time when we are more polarized politically as a country than ever, the phenomenon of black and white thinking lies at the heart of it.  It’s been many years since the first supercomputers were developed, but they rely on a very simple system: switches set to 0 and 1.  It’s either on or off, and there’s no in-between. That wasn’t how black and white thinking got started, but our technology does parallel the de-evolution of our thinking from being able to look at things in shades of gray to seeing things in extreme categories.  Many people with depression and addiction issues are prone to see themselves and others in these black and white categories.  

The Problem is That Black and White Thinking Usually Isn’t Accurate

If I tell myself I’m an ‘idiot’ or a ‘jerk,’ then I not only cast myself in a negative light, but I also start looking for evidence to back up that label.  The problem is that I will not see evidence to the contrary that is also true and fits the description of a person who has both bad and good in them. I’m also piling on another distortion on myself, which is one of labeling.  Both black and white thinking and labeling are considered cognitive distortions in CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy). I also reinforce depressive feelings related to low self-esteem (or grandiosity if I’m telling myself I’m better than everyone else), and may drive someone to have a relapse if they have addiction problems because of self-fulfilling prophecies.  

What To Do About Black and White Thinking

You can start by simply using thought-stopping skills such as saying “STOP!” or “Don’t go there!” out loud with yourself (or silently if with others), and later by talking back to this type of thinking by telling yourself you’re human instead of whatever black and white label you stick on yourself or others.  If nothing is done, then feelings of self-hate can creep in. Hatred of others can be harmful as well because of how intense feelings of anger can go with it. Venting to others who will help you see the other side of things is helpful. If you vent with others who will just confirm your worst thoughts about yourself or others, then that’s not helpful, either.  Getting professional help is also a good idea if you have symptoms of depression and addiction issues. These aren’t the only two mental health diagnoses that go with black and white thinking, however.  

How I Can Help

I’ve been working with people who suffer from this kind of distorted thinking my entire social work career.  I can help you with numerous tools to get rid of your particular black and white thinking so you are more able to live in everyday life without getting pulled into the extremes of this kind of thinking.  I offer a free 15-minute phone consult to help you get a better idea about whether I can help you or not. Simply call me at 512-648-3053, or fill out the form below and I can get back to you to schedule a time to talk.  You deserve to have as rich a life as possible, and one that’s not defined by extremes such as the kind of thinking that keeps you in a mental prison.  You can leave it if you want!

About the author:  Scott Kampschaefer, LCSW is a private practice therapist in Frederick, Maryland.  He has an extensive background in working with depression, anxiety, and bipolar disorder at a clinic for older adults with these disorders in Austin, Texas.  He now works with adults and adolescents 14 and up in private practice. His e-book is entitled Life’s Lessons from the Young and the Old and is available for purchase on Amazon.

Visit our page on trauma therapy to find out more about how Scott can help you with trauma.