If you think the only thing you need to do to have sexual health is to be protected from STI’s, you’ve been out of the loop for way too long.  Not only are we in the middle of the biggest pandemic in over 100 years, but we have moved away from a concept of sexual health as being just about protection from STI’s and unwanted pregnancy.

Protection From STI’s Is a Starting Point for Sexual Health

Way back in the 1970’s we had an awareness that people’s lives were suffering because of STI’s, and the government said people should protect themselves from this.  It was the middle of the ‘sexual revolution,’ and people were trying to get away from outdated concepts in how they conducted themselves sexually.  The problem with this was that unless people protected themselves from STI’s and unwanted pregnancy, a lot of problems wound up coming after all the ‘free love’ and sex they could get.  This whole situation hit the wall around 1980 when the AIDS epidemic hit and it literally was life and death for gay men and their partners in this country to started dying by the thousands because of one particular STI, not to mention the problems they had in developing countries.  

The Thorny Problem with STI’s and Out of Control Sexual Behavior

If you are very good about using protection when you have sex with others to prevent infections, you may very well have avoided these in the past.  The problem with addictive or out of control sexual behavior and the ability to avoid infections is that this kind of experience can tend to obscure people’s thinking because of how denial can come in.  Denial basically is a reaction to a problem that causes us to think it really isn’t a problem when it actually is.  At this point, you have become so bought into a substance or behavior that you have a big emotional investment in keeping it going-- so much so that it would feel like a house of card collapsing if it all came to an end.  The result is that we deny something is wrong.  It’s like the concept of momentum in physics.  The characteristic of an object in motion is that it tends to stay in motion, and it can be the same with addictive or out of control sexual behavior.  A person might tell themselves that one time in which they don’t protect themselves won’t turn out to be an unwanted pregnancy or an STI, when in fact it only takes one instance for either of these to occur.  

Fast-Forward to STI’s and the Age of Pandemics

We’ve had pandemics in the last 20 years, but the US has been fortunate to have not been seriously affected by them since 1918.  Now we are in a full-blown pandemic and all the self-protection that keeps us safe from STI’s needs to be focused on preventing other infections, too.  Prevention of these infections is an important sexual health value, but so should protection from all infections also be a sexual health value.  If you delude yourself into thinking that just because that group you are involved with are so hot or so good and loving that there’s no way I could get an infection from them, think again.  Government estimates going into the pandemic were that about ⅔ of the population would contract Covid-19, and so far that looks to be coming true.  That gives you at least a 67% chance of contracting it regardless of what you do, but if you couple that with not taking adequate precautions to protect against contracting it, you are dramatically increasing your chance of getting it.  

What Therapy Can Do for Preventing STI’s and Other Infections

Good, clear thinking by consulting with trusted others who aren’t invested in keeping addictive or out of control sexual behavior going can be crucial to protecting yourself and those you love.  In addition to or in the absence of someone objective in your life, a like me who is specifically trained in addictive or out-of-control sexual behavior can help you make healthier decisions.  Especially if you know you have a problem, there’s a good chance you are more ready to get help than someone who is living in denial about all of this.  I’ve been helping men for 10 years now who struggle with addictive or out of control sexual behavior to help regain a sense of control over their lives and would be happy to talk to you about how I can help you with your own struggles with sex and sexual health.  You can fill out the form below or call me at the number listed above and I can set up a free 45-minute consult with you to help you decide if working with me would be a good fit for you.  Your own health and those of all you come in contact with may hang in the balance!

About the author:  Scott Kampschaefer, LCSW is a private practice therapist in Frederick, Maryland.  He has an extensive background in working with depression, anxiety, and bipolar disorder at a clinic for older adults with these disorders in Austin.  He now works with adults and adolescents 14 and up in private practice. His e-book is entitled Life’s Lessons from the Young and the Old and is available for purchase on Amazon.

Visit our page on sex addiction therapy to learn more about how Scott can help you with compulsive or addictive sexual behavior.