Do you tend to struggle with change?  Do you hate that unsettled feeling of knowing something you’ve counted on staying the same is suddenly going away?  Even knowing something as awful as the pandemic may be ebbing away can fill you with a sense of dread along with the excitement of being able to get out more?  Does change tend to worsen your compulsive or addictive sexual behavior, too?  If you answered ‘yes’ to any of these questions, read on.

Change is a Major Trigger for Many People

So many people have been living in a very regimented way, especially for the last year that even a slight change can trigger their anxiety and addictive behavior.  You may be very ready to come out of isolation, but if you have relied on some addictive substance or compulsive behavior this can be especially difficult.  It can be this way particularly with compulsive or addictive sexual behavior.  Now with so many things opening up that have been shut down for much of the last year, a lot of people are struggling with the change.  Even positive changes can trigger compulsive sexual behavior because there is an emotional impact that accompanies both good and bad changes.

How Can Good Change Trigger You

It’s probably easy to see how change for the worse can trigger people’s addictions, but a similar dynamic is in play with positive change.  People who have addiction issues typically use their addictive substance or behavior as a numbing device.  The basic experience is that all feelings need to be numbed, even the positive ones.  So even if you got some good news you may turn to addictive substances and behaviors to either try to numb the good feeling (it can be scary), or deal with the shock of good news (‘I can’t believe this is happening!’).  

What To Do To Cope With Change

There are no quick and easy ways to cope with change, but primary among those that facilitate mental health is reaching out for support from friends, family, and loved ones.  There may very well be a support group that can be a safe place to talk about all the feelings that come up as a result of change, and these can be some of the best ways to cope with it.  If change brings up fear and anxiety, using relaxation tools such as deep breathing and other effective forms of relaxation can help.  If you are prone to feelings of grief and sadness because of the change, then journaling in addition to social support can be one of the very best ways to help you navigate the change.  

When You Need Therapy to Deal With Change

Sometimes change can be so major that it causes people to suffer from clinical depression, anxiety disorders, or suffer trauma disorders such as PTSD.  If you feel depressed for more than a couple of weeks, and have some of its associated symptoms like insomnia, appetite loss, lack of enjoyment, and thoughts of suicide, then you definitely need to seek professional help.  Likewise having panic attacks is also a classic sign you need professional help.  In most cases, with some or all of the above supports most people can make it through change.  If you suffer a major relapse into your addictive behavior, that is a sign you need professional help or need to rededicate yourself to a personal program of recovery, or both.  

What I Can Do To Help in Coping With Change

I have been helping people as a clinical social worker for 12 years now to successfully cope with change.  I can help you find ways to find the positive in whatever changing circumstances you are dealing with so it doesn’t have to cause havoc with whatever addiction you may suffer from, as well as for depression, anxiety, and trauma.  Especially with men who suffer from sex addiction or compulsive sexual behavior, I have much experience that can help you deal with change without relapsing and successfully maintaining a plan of sexual health that doesn’t have to devastate you or those you care about.  Dealing with change is enough!  Please fill out the contact form below or call me at the number above to get a free 45-minute screening to help ensure you don’t suffer needlessly just because change has come your way.  

Visit our page on sex addiction therapy to find out more about how Scott can help you with change.  

About the author:  Scott Kampschaefer, LCSW is a private practice therapist in Frederick, Maryland.  He has an extensive background in working with depression, anxiety, and bipolar disorder at a clinic for older adults with these disorders in Austin.  He now works with adults and adolescents 14 and up in private practice. His most recent book is titled The 5 Pillars of Addiction Recovery and is available for purchase on Amazon and in paperback on this website.