Are you a person who normally has reasonable spending habits except when it comes to problematic sexual behavior?  Have you amassed unwanted credit card or other debt because somehow you don’t have any discipline when it comes to this area?  Is your spouse demanding to look at or have control over your credit and spending situation?  If you answered yes to any of these questions, then read on.  

How Problematic Sexual Behavior and Overspending Create a Perfect Storm

Most people are aware of the separate problems of sex addiction and overspending, but not many people have an understanding about how these two problems go together.  There are many people who suffer from addiction issues in the US and across the world, but when they overlap it can create a special kind of problem all it’s own.  Not many addiction issues carry the stigma that problematic sexual behavior does, but when that leads someone to spend themselves into tremendous debt it can make the shame and degradation all the worse.  They both tell a story of lack of control and particularly in the financial arena the potential devastation can be enough to push someone to the depths of despair.  

The Potential for Conflict with Problematic Sexual Behavior and Overspending

One of the key areas that are cause for concern is that it often is harmful enough for partner or spousal relationships to discover a partner cheating on them somehow, but when that involves potentially huge sums of money coming out of checking accounts and being rung up on credit cards that either partner could be on the hook for it ratchets up to a new level.  There is not only trust that is betrayed, but a whole other area for concern because the family financial situation could be put in jeopardy.  If the choice becomes about spending on necessities and one partner’s sexual acting out, there is no question what to do.  The potential for conflict and arguments over money are tremendous here.

How to Cope with Overspending and Problematic Sexual Behavior

One obvious thing to do is to eliminate the potential for spending from previous avenues.  For example, if you or your partner is racking up huge expenses via credit card debt acting out sexually then shut down the account or only allow one spouse to have a card to charge with.  If you must spend money on sex or sexual acting out then do it with cash or a prepaid card that ensures you won’t spend over a certain amount on things.  If limiting your ways of paying for things doesn’t work, then consider joining one or both of the support groups for overspending or problematic sexual behavior.  In doing one of these last 2 things, a key question to ask is what one’s ‘core’ addiction issue is.  Depending on which of the two it is, that would help you decide which group is best for you.

What if Nothing Helps Reign in Overspending and Problematic Sexual Behavior

If you’ve tried self-help and nothing seems to make a difference, then getting professional help is warranted.  I’ve been helping people overcome addictive and compulsive behavior my entire 12 year social work career.  I have much experience and some tried and true ways of helping people out of these issues.  If you are male and struggle with problematic sexual behavior I have particular expertise with this issue, and sometimes EMDR and Image Transformation Therapy (ImTT) can get at the trauma issues that often underlie these both overspending and sex addiction issues.  You can either call the number at the top of the page or fill out the form below to get in touch with me for a free 20 minute phone consult or in-person consult depending on the exact nature of the problem and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.  The main thing is that you not let a fundamentally insane situation go on and take measures to get the help you and your family need.  Don’t wait any longer than you already have:  reach out for help today!

Visit our page on problematic sexual behavior to find out more about how Scott can help you with sex addiction.

About the author:  Scott Kampschaefer, LCSW is a private practice therapist in Frederick, Maryland.  He has an extensive background in working with depression, anxiety, and bipolar disorder at a clinic for older adults with these disorders in Austin.  He now works with adults and adolescents 14 and up in private practice. His most recent book is titled The 5 Pillars of Addiction Recovery and is available for purchase on Amazon and in paperback on this website.