Do you struggle to find things to feel grateful for and feel like you live with a perpetual dark cloud over your head?  Do you think that somehow everything you do somehow turns out bad and you are destined for failure?  If you do, then I really want you to keep on reading so you can find out how to start turning things around.  

Gratitude is a Struggle for Many People

No matter what your walk of life is, you can suffer from a sense of feeling somehow doomed and unworthy.  Much of this goes back to childhood and the models we were exposed to who either showed us how good…or bad the world was.  How these caregivers or models responded to adversity can make a huge difference in our lives.  If we had parents who were doom and gloom, this can make an indelible impression on us.  Likewise, if we were exposed to caregivers and models who demonstrated character and practiced gratitude on a regular basis, we picked up on that as well.  

Difficulty with Gratitude Can Be Related to Mental Illness

Regardless of that, sometimes depression and/or trauma can leave you feeling like you are sometimes cursed to keep repeating the same self-defeating cycles and experiences.  It can feel a lot like the movie Groundhog Day, where the main character keeps waking up with each day being the same, literally, and there is no apparent way out of the situation.  In this case, it’s important to understand it isn’t your fault you don’t feel or express gratitude.  You aren’t choosing this, you’re just experiencing another symptom of that particular illness.  

Where Spirituality Comes In with Gratitude

Back in the 1950’s or 1960’s there was a big movement that taught people to ‘think positively,’ and that as long as you did this good things would happen in your life.  Many have tried this, but still wound up disappointed because they’ve continued to experience setbacks and adversity.  There’s nothing they’re doing wrong here, but one of the things that’s missing is expressing gratitude.  In other words, it’s not so much about thinking positively about things as in finding something to be grateful for each day.  Let’s say you choose to think positively about an upcoming test you’re taking, and you find out later you made a C instead of an A on it.  You might not feel very good about getting a C, but you can still be grateful for passing the test.  If you are a spiritual person, you can say “Thank you, God” for helping you pass the test.  

Gratitude By Being a ‘Detective’

Another aspect of spirituality and gratitude has to do with ‘looking for clues’ as the author Deepak Chopra talked about in his book A Path to Love some years ago.   This has to do with finding evidence of being looked after by something greater than yourself, which for many people is God.  When you find things to be grateful for, even if it’s that things didn’t turn out worse than they did, you are seeing evidence of being looked after or cared for.  That is where gratitude and spirituality come together:  seeing the thread in your life experiences that helps you see you are loved by something or someone much greater than yourself.  This then can help to bolster your faith, in yourself, in God, in the Universe, etc.  It takes practice and time to build up this spiritual muscle of gratitude, but it becomes more natural and can lead to feelings of appreciation in yourself.  Feeling appreciation and gratitude isn’t the point, but they can be valuable by-products of the process of being grateful.  

What If I Struggle with Gratitude?

Most people struggle with either expressing or feeling gratitude, or both.  If you feel like it is hampering your mood or your life and you would like to be able to find gratitude, you are welcome to reach out to me and I can talk to you about whether or not I can help you with this.  I’ve been helping my clients with gratitude for my entire social work career and I would be happy to at least talk to you about possibly working with you to help you improve your mood, life, and develop a practice of gratitude that can help you truly see how you do actually have something to be grateful for when you may not even realize it.  You too can be a successful detective in working to find gratitude in your midst and have and find hope for a better day today and tomorrow as well!

Visit our page on depression therapy to find out how Scott can help you to be more grateful.

About the author:  Scott Kampschaefer, LCSW is a private practice therapist in Frederick, Maryland.  He has an extensive background in working with depression, anxiety, and bipolar disorder at a clinic for older adults with these disorders in Austin.  He now works with adults and adolescents 14 and up in private practice. His most recent book is titled The 5 Pillars of Addiction Recovery and is available for purchase on Amazon and in paperback on this website.