Are you someone who feels like you are addicted to fantasy sex and struggle to find partners that match your fantasies? Do your sexual fantasies interfere with your real relationships? If you answered yes to either of these two questions, then this week's offering is for you.

Fantasy Sex is Becoming Ever More of a Problem in Our Culture

With the advent of computer technology has come some unforeseen negative consequences. For sure, technology has improved our lives in many ways, but especially with the latest developments in AI the lure of fantasy sex has become many times greater than it was before. Not only can people look at images, videos, and engage in interactive sexual activities with potential partners, but they can now develop relationships with AI bots that can make real human relationships seem boring and unfulfilling in comparison.

Many People Struggle with Fantasy Sex

Given what I just said above, it may seem like fantasy sex is some kind of new phenomenon. Nothing could be further from the truth: It has been an issue for as long as human beings have been an existence. The only difference is now that fantasy sex can take on a more realistic dimension. Back before computer technology came along, people could fantasize about people they saw in TV, movies, and magazines. Now they can come up with an image of their ideal partner, and make them walk and talk and be able to carry on conversations with an AI bot that mimics the things that any one person might desire to see in a real partner.

Fantasy Sex Versus Reality: When Worlds Collide

Given everything that I just said, it may seem like I’m somehow critical of people having fantasies. There’s nothing wrong with this, but when fantasy is a way to replace real relationships with real human beings, then that’s where the problems begin. As much as fantasy sex can be appealing for many people, it can never be seen as a replacement for real human connection. There are simply things that we can’t get met with fantasy that we need to have human contact to address. Add into the equation having a real life partner who has issues with the other’s virtual relationship with the bot and you get a real conflict that can upend the lives or 2 or more people.

The Real Need is for Connection in Seeking Fantasy Sex

There are all kinds of potential feelings that drive people's pursuit of fantasy sex, and a typical one is a need for human connection and validation. When people turn to fantasy partners, it is an expression of a need for things like connection, caring, and acceptance that have been unfulfilled to some degree in people's lives. Interacting with an AI bot will never meet this need, regardless of how realistic it may seem. When people get into recovery from their addiction to fantasy or sex in general, then they can start to develop skills that will allow them to get their needs met in healthy ways.

What Recovery From Fantasy Sex Can Look Like

When people confront their issues with fantasy sex and other addictions, they often find a therapist or a support group that will help them to overcome their problem. This establishes a way of getting support for overcoming unhealthy adaptation patterns from earlier in life that are a poor fit for grown-up life situations. The term “growing up in public” is a good way to describe how people are able to work through trauma from earlier in life and learn how to follow a more mature and healthy form of guidance and direction to allow them to really grow up in the truest sense of the word.

What if Fantasy Sex Has Become Too Much of a Problem

You can certainly find help and support for recovering from fantasy sex without having to look too far. There are numerous support groups that help people with this problem, as well as therapists like me that also treat it. I’ve been helping my clients to recover from this problem for the vast majority of my social work career, and would be happy to talk to you so you can get a better idea about whether I can help you in your situation. Feel free to call the number at the top of the page, or fill out the inquiry form below if you live in Maryland or Texas, and I can provide a free, no risk consult to help you figure out if I would be a fit for your situation. Regardless of how you choose to go about it, I do encourage you to reach out for the human support that can help you to escape the lure of technology’s siren song.

Visit our page on sex addiction therapy to learn more about how Scott can help you to recover from addiction to fantasy sex.