Do you ever wonder why you might be feeling some degree of mental distress, anxiety, and/or depression because of your relationship to a partner or friend? Do you also experience some degree of social awkwardness, generalized stress, or social isolation as a result of your interactions with this or other persons in your social sphere? If so, you may be suffering from something known as vicarious trauma.

Various Trauma Is a Major Problem in Our World

Just as incidents of trauma have increased in recent years and throughout the decades, the experience of vicarious trauma has also increased because of all of the friends and family that are affected by individual trauma. Anyone who has been in a close relationship with someone who is experiencing trauma knows how difficult it can be to help and support them in dealing with this. They can be just a general feeling of increased stress, as well as the anxiety, depression, and other experiences I mentioned above. It can definitely leave the friend or family member “shell-shocked,” much like the person who suffers from the trauma feels this way. We pick up things from the people we’re in relationship with, and one of those can be the after effects of trauma.

What is Vicarious Trauma?

Vicarious trauma is the secondary effect of someone else’s trauma that we absorb mentally, emotionally, and/or physically. We are naturally feeling beings, and can be very sensitive to the effects of trauma on those we love and care about. This is basically the essence of vicarious trauma. You get into relationships with people who are traumatized, and then pick up some of the residual effects of the trauma in them, especially that which is unprocessed. This can be very debilitating for any individual, and it doesn’t have to be the result of direct trauma. It can take a cumulative toll on you, much like being a caregiver for someone who has a chronic disease. You just take away some of it naturally because of the social bond that you share with this friend or family member.

What are Some Ways to Cope with Vicarious Trauma?

Just as there are many ways that vicarious trauma can manifest itself, there are also many different ways to cope with it. Getting more information on vicarious trauma, just like you’re doing now is one important way to cope with it. Once people get information about it, then finding support for it can also be very helpful. While there aren’t any specific groups that support people and dealing with vicarious trauma, many people benefit from ones that center around some of the addictive behaviors that people who are traumatized often suffer from, such as Al-Anon, Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACA), and Codependents Anonymous, or CODA. People who are affected by vicarious trauma also can need individual therapy support themselves. Aside from this, you can also benefit from using relaxation skills to help you cope with the stress of being a friend of a trauma victim. One of the most effective of these is called deep relaxing breathing, or vagal breathing. Having other ways to reduce stress, such as regular exercise, getting as much healthy sleep as you can, are all very helpful in coping with the effects of trauma, even if it’s secondary. Regular meditation practices can also be helpful in coping with stress. 

What if You Need Professional Help with Vicarious Trauma?

Sometimes no amount of coping or support from friends and family can treat the effects of vicarious trauma.  I’ve been helping my clients overcome the effects of trauma, including vicarious trauma, for my entire career.  I can assure you that it is very treatable, but can take some time and careful attention to overcome.  I encourage you to call the number at the top of the page or fill out a form below if you live in Maryland or Texas, and I will get back to you to schedule a free 20 minute phone consultation so you can get a better idea about whether I can help you with your situation.  I use both EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) and Image Transformation Therapy (ImTT), which are both specifically designed to treat trauma of all kinds.  They can be used individually or or in combination with each other to resolve trauma.  If you don’t get help from me, then I hope you find someone else who can help you overcome the effects of second-hand trauma.  Both you and the one you are concerned about deserve the benefits of trauma recovery, regardless of which came first.  

Visit our page on trauma therapy to find out how Scott can help you with vicarious trauma.

About the author:  Scott Kampschaefer, LCSW is a private practice therapist in Frederick, Maryland.  He has an extensive background in working with depression, anxiety, and bipolar disorder at a clinic for older adults with these disorders in Austin, Texas.  He now works with adults and adolescents 14 and up in private practice. His most recent book is titled The 5 Pillars of Addiction Recovery and is available for purchase on Amazon and in paperback on this website.