Do you ever find yourself being “zoned out“ and then realize you weren’t paying attention to what was happening or what someone was saying at any given time? Do you ever find that you seem to be taken over by some part of you that you never consciously wanted to come out? if you answered yes to either of these questions, then you do experience some degree of dissociation, and this week’s blog post is for you.
The Ever-Growing Problem of Dissociation
Dissociation is something that everyone experiences, but people who have been affected by trauma often experience it to a much greater extent than others. And with all of the trauma that is being inflicted on people in the world around us, there is an ever growing problem with this inner disconnection affecting people's lives. It comes in all kinds of forms, from simply zoning out or not paying attention at any given time to having different personalities within oneself that are very walled off from each other.
Dissociation as Adaptation
Dissociation is a very adaptive feature of human existence. We develop a tendency to separate from ourselves when anything happens to us that would normally overwhelm the human nervous system. If you’ve ever been extremely frightened, shocked, or upset by any given circumstance, then you’ve probably experienced some of this inner disconnection. You needed to have that reaction at the time, because otherwise you might not have survived the event psychologically. The problem comes later, when the same reaction pattern comes up in different circumstances that aren’t necessarily the same as the ones that gave rise to the trauma reaction in the first place.
What Makes Disassociation So Difficult?
The problem with dissociative reactions is not that they are unnecessary, but at some point they become maladaptive. People most often develop this inner separation during childhood or adolescence, when the circumstances required this to happen for the person's nervous system to survive. The problem is that later, when the same reactions come up in adulthood, they usually wind up going against the individual's own best interests. They can wind up totally overtaking or overwhelming someone’s being such that when they have something that they want or need to accomplish, it winds up not happening, because the same old reaction patterns get triggered. For example, if you were terrorized by an abusive parent growing up, and you learn to go into freeze mode to survive the abuse, this can make it very difficult in interpersonal relationships when you get triggered and you wind up freezing when you really needed to speak up or do something to get out of a bad situation.
The Continuum of Dissociation
Dissociative reactions can vary greatly, as well as the mental health conditions that can result from them. On the one end there is PTSD/PTSI, and on the other hand are the dissociative identity disorders, such as DID and DDNOS. In between, there is the experience of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), and C-PTSD. In all of these situations inner separation plays some role, and the parts that we have in us have different degrees of being “walled off“ from each other. With BPD the self of the person tends to be less clearly defined and more vulnerable to the parts that would otherwise be more contained. All experiences of personality disorders have some degree of trauma in them, but the ones that I mentioned above have more of a clearly defined place on the continuum.
What Can You Do If You Have Experienced Dissociation?
The first thing to probably do is to be grateful that you had your initial experience of this. The other thing to do is to realize that it’s a reaction to trauma, and that it was necessary at the time. Going forward, seeking out professional help for extended periods of dissociation or other parts of one’s personality that can tend to “take over“ at other times is often necessary. Getting to know the parts that do tend to come out in the situation is also very important, as well as befriending and working with them to help to decrease the amount of havoc they can cause in your life. Some of this can potentially be done on one’s own, but many times professional help is needed to work with and help coordinate the various dissociative parts that can be a part of anyone’s personality.
What To Do If You Need Help With Dissociation
I’ve been helping my clients to deal with their trauma reactions for the vast majority of my professional career. While I’m not an expert on DID or BPD, I do have a good ability to assess for these disorders, and can help you to identify yours. I use several forms of trauma therapy that are helpful in treating this inner separation. I use EMDR with many of my clients, as well as Image Transformation Therapy, or ImTT. I would be happy to schedule a free 20 minute phone consult with you to give you a better idea of whether I can help you with your own experience of trauma. Feel free to call the number at the top of the page or fill out the contact form below if you live in Maryland or Texas, and I can get back to you as soon as possible to discuss possible treatment. You deserve to have a life that allows you to feel as whole and as present as possible, so don’t let the dissociation rule your life any longer than you absolutely have to.
Visit our page on trauma therapy to find out more about how Scott can help you with dissociation.
About the author: Scott Kampschaefer, LCSW is a private practice therapist in Frederick, Maryland. He has an extensive background in working with depression, anxiety, and bipolar disorder at a clinic for older adults with these disorders in Austin, Texas. He now works with adults and adolescents 14 and up in private practice. His most recent book is titled The 5 Pillars of Addiction Recovery and is available for purchase on Amazon and in paperback on this website.