Do you find some times that you often feel splintered or at odds with yourself? Do you often feel like different people in different situations? If you answered, yes, to either of these two questions, then IFS probably has something to offer you.
IFS and the Problem With Parts
We live in a time where people are feeling increasingly polarized from others, and this is also reflected in how people can often feel polarized from themselves in some respects. When there is an experience of inner strife, which happens to so many people in so many different situations, this highlights the need to be aware of different aspects of what Richard Schwartz calls ‘parts’ of ourselves in his book, An Introduction to Internal Family Systems, or IFS for short.
How IFS Can Help You in Your Life
When you feel conflicted or split from yourself in any capacity, there is much potential for emotional, interpersonal, and internal strife. Sometimes people go to the extremes of committing suicide or overdosing because of how much they can develop feelings of self hate, or extreme ambivalence, or family or social alienation. In such instances, you need a way to resolve the internal strife to often be able to have relationships with others that are peaceful or harmonious. One of the ways to do this is to identify the warring parts of yourself, and then have a way to resolve the strife within yourself. IFS provides such a vehicle for doing so, and in Richard Schwartz's Introduction to IFS, he discusses ways in which this can happen for individuals.
Key Concepts from IFS That Can Be Helpful for People
Along with becoming aware of parts and using IFS to help you recover, perhaps the most important awareness is also what is called the ‘Self.’ The Self is a part of each person that is removed from the inner conflict, and when people can engage with the Self they have the greatest potential to find inner harmony. Richard Schwartz talks about some of the characteristics of the Self as consisting of calm, clarity, courage, confidence, curiosity, charisma, compassion, and creativity. The Self is often called on to ‘witness’ what is happening, and to provide an ability to ‘step back’ and allow an individual to resolve their internal conflicts. This isn’t achieved by taking a passive stance as parts ‘have it out’ with each other, but by having an attitude of compassionate curiosity in many instances to parts that are hurting or doing the job of protecting other parts. One of the protecting roles is done by a type of part called a ‘firefighter,’ which is an immature part of yourself that filled in for your adult self at an age when no other part could help you survive.
IFS and Wholeness
As I mentioned above, the main outcome of IFS is to help you feel more whole, and in doing so allows many emotional and psychological struggles to go away. So much of your time is typically spent in being at war with yourself or others, and when this energy is freed up and directed compassionately at yourself and others, you are basically freed from them. You also have an ability to be mindful in a way that you never did before, and this is very liberating for many people. IFS has been used to treat a wide variety of mental and psychological disorders, including addiction, depression, anxiety, etc.
What if You Need Professional Help and Want to Learn More About IFS?
I am not trained in IFS, but I am familiar with many of the concepts and tenets involved in IFS. I have been helping my clients to feel more whole for the entirety of my social work career, and I use methods that are very complementary to IFS work, and can support you in recovering from the feeling of inner turmoil that you suffer from. Please call the number at the top of the page, or fill out the form below if you are interested in addressing some of your inner conflict and need professional help. I can offer you a free 20 minute phone consult so you can find out if I can help you with your particular set of challenges. Whether you use IFS, EMDR, or some other method to help you with your emotional challenges, I wholeheartedly encourage you to take the first step in your journey.
Visit our page on depression therapy to find out how Scott can help you in feeling more whole.
About the author: Scott Kampschaefer, LCSW is a private practice therapist in Frederick, Maryland. He has an extensive background in working with depression, anxiety, and bipolar disorder at a clinic for older adults with these disorders in Austin, Texas. He now works with adults and adolescents 14 and up in private practice. His most recent book is titled The 5 Pillars of Addiction Recovery and is available for purchase on Amazon and in paperback on this website.