Have you ever felt like you had a problem with controlling your sexual behavior at one moment, then later changed your mind? This has been the experience with many individuals, but it doesn't mean there’s one for sure answer to the question of whether you have a problem or not. It just means you need to figure out which voices in your head and which voices of others to listen to.
You Can Really Figure This Out
The main issue is that you go back and forth between thinking you have a problem and not, and that’s a symptom of any number of illnesses. It’s called ambivalence, and you kind of become your own judge and jury going back and forth between two extremes: one of thinking ‘I really have a problem,’ and the other of thinking ‘I can handle this.’ That last one usually means trying to figure it out on your own, without the help of others. If that’s the case, you probably need to get some help in sorting things out...if nothing else.
Who Else Struggles With This
Most people can’t figure this kind of thing out on their own, but the issue with this sort of problem is that most people don’t feel comfortable talking about it….with anyone! This is a trap for alot of people, especially men. Alot of men feel trapped into believing they have to figure things out on their own to appear bullet-proof and invulnerable. The problem with this attitude is that it leaves the average American male even more isolated than normal. This in turn leads to even greater problems with a behavior that can be ‘problematic’ in the first place: Sex!
Well...What the (Bleep) Am I Supposed To Do About It?
Here’s what: talk to some people. Find someone you trust and let them know about your back and forth over the problem. If you don’t know anybody you trust, that’s the first problem. You need to start trusting others. There’s a need to find someone who’s safe, but you just have to do your best here. The thing about telling other people is that they are bound to have a more objective take on your problems than you are, just because they aren’t you! The main thing is to not keep it to yourself.
(The video below originally aired on Facebook Live and the copy provided came without closed captioning available on it.)
What Else You Can Do
There are some other ways to determine if you really have a problem. I have an inventory on my website that will give you an idea of whether it’s a problem for you as well. If both of these sources suggest you have a problem, then you probably have a problem. This is regardless of how you feel in any given moment. One authoritative source indicates that only about 10% of people with addiction issues in this country get help in overcoming their addictions, which is a really low number. This number could be alot higher if more people confided in others about the problem and sought help based on what they heard from others.
My Edge on the Problem
I have been helping men in overcoming out of control sexual behavior for well over a decade. I’ve been trained in the least invasive approach to helping men deal with addictive or out of control sexual behavior. You don’t have to swear off sex, you don’t have to pay thousands of dollars to a treatment facility that will give you a laundry list of tasks to do so that ‘someday’ you will be free of the problem. I talk with you and help you understand your problem, as well as give very practical tools to help overcome your problem sexual behavior.
If You Don’t Talk to Anyone Else, Talk To Me
I offer free 45-minute screening appointments to help you figure out if you have a problem with your sexual behavior. There’s no commitment, and if for some reason we both decide I can’t help you I will at least point you in the direction of someone who can. You can call me at 512-648-3053, or you can fill out the form below. But whatever you do, don’t let you mind become a ping-pong match of opposing voices. There can be clarity and there is a way out of your dilemma. I encourage you to take action!
About the author: Scott Kampschaefer, LCSW is a private practice therapist in Frederick, Maryland. He has an extensive background in working with depression, anxiety, and bipolar disorder at a clinic for older adults with these disorders in Austin. He now works with adults of all ages in private practice.
Visit our page on sex addiction therapy to learn more about how Scott can help you with sex addiction.