Are you one of those people who tends to dislike or dread change? Sometimes even positive change can throw you off and make you feel uneasy? If you answered yes to either of these questions, this blog is for you!
Change is Hard for Many People
We live in an age of unprecedented change, with fast-paced information and things changing all the time. Part of this is due to technology, which gives us the ability to be hyper-connected all the time. Whatever the case, change is a constant in our world, but many people struggle to accept and adapt to change. This can be the case for people who have struggled with losses their entire life, and change itself can bring an experience of grief...even for positive changes! If you have suffered major losses in your past and haven’t managed to grieve them, this can make it hard to deal with change and cause you to resist it.
What Can You Do To Deal With Change?
1) The primary thing you can do here is to reach out for support from others who are capable of listening and not judging you, or otherwise dismissing your problems in dealing with change. If you know you are dealing with grief as well, front load these friends or family members by asking them to regularly touch base with you about how you are doing. This is because, as a grieving person, you aren’t likely to reach out for support on an ongoing basis, so asking others to reach out to you relieves the burden of you taking the initiative to contact them. The principle in getting support from others is that suffering shared is divided, and happiness shared is multiplied.
2) Using some form of journaling is another important way that people cope with change and the grief that can either relate to it or be caused by it. If you write until the tone of your writing is either neutral or positive, you know you have written enough at any given sitting.
3) Being sure to practice self-care is of utmost importance as well. Getting enough rest and exercise is critical, as well as eating nutritious foods and not overindulging in alcohol or other drugs.
4) Don’t ‘should on yourself.’ Especially if the change you’re dealing with is a good or positive change, it’s so easy to fall into the shoulds: “I should like this,” or “It shouldn’t bother me.” Any feelings you have with respect to change and the grieving process are legitimate and need to be free of judgment, so work to shut down the shoulds as best you can!
Getting Professional Help Can Be Important, Too
If all you are doing isn’t working in helping you deal with change and the grief that can accompany it, then by all means get professional help. I have a wealth of experience in helping people cope with change and get through the grieving process, and you can get a free 15-minute phone consult with me to find out if I might be able to help you in your situation. You can reach me at 512-648-3053, or you can fill out the form below to get in touch with me. Dealing with change and grief only gets harder as people get on in years and if they postpone dealing with them indefinitely. So the sooner you get the help you need, the better the rest of you life can be. The heavy loads can be lightened, and the heavy feelings need not haunt you for the rest of your days. There is a brighter tomorrow if you deal with change and grief in the here and now.
About the author: Scott Kampschaefer, LCSW is a private practice therapist in Frederick, Maryland. He has an extensive background in working with depression, anxiety, and bipolar disorder at a clinic for older adults with these disorders in Austin. He now works with adults and adolescents 14 and up in private practice. His new e-book is entitled Life’s Lessons from the Young and the Old and is available for purchase on Amazon.
Visit our page on grief counseling to learn more about how Scott can help you with grief and loss.