Do you ever turn to sexual behavior in situations where you feel bored or empty, just seeking some kind of positive stimulation? Have you ever engaged in sexual behavior and not even thought about if before doing it? Are you often looking for the next ‘big thrill’ in your sexual exploits because the usual stuff just doesn’t do it for you anymore? If you answered ‘yes’ to most or all of these questions, you may suffer from both ADHD and compulsive sexual behavior. They can tend to go together, and I’ll explain why below.
The Size of the Problem with ADHD and Compulsive Sexual Behavior
Both of these conditions are very big problems these days, and only look to be getting worse in the last few years. Many people who may or may not have been diagnosed with ADHD as children suffer with this into adulthood. They may have been diagnosed and treated or not, but unless some effective treatment exists for it in adulthood, many people still struggle with attention or hyperactivity symptoms. Compulsive or addictive sexual behavior looks to be getting worse due to the relative isolation of the past few years of Covid, as well as the worsening uptick in STI’s in recent years.
The ADHD and Sexual Compulsivity Nexus
Both of these conditions most often have their roots in some form of childhood trauma, commonly in the form of abuse or neglect. Let’s say you’re a kid growing up and you’re a latchkey kid with both parents working and you had to take care of yourself after school without anyone home to monitor you. The loneliness and emptiness of living in that situation left a void for you to fill, which could be experienced emotionally as boredom. If you are needing to take care of that boredom, then finding risky activities could help to relieve the feeling of boredom. Some of these could involve use of pornography at an early age, or could involve becoming promiscuous as well. This could also develop with overly protective ‘helicopter’ parents who are so cautious they never let you do anything risky. The consequent feeling of suffocation could wind up triggering you to test all the boundaries because of how you didn’t have an ability to explore growing up. Both of these situations can foster either compulsive sexual behavior, ADHD, or both. They wind up feeding off of each other and worsening each other unless there is some intervention somewhere along the line.
How to Break the ADHD and Compulsive Sexual Behavior Cycle
While medication isn’t the only way to treat adult ADHD, it often can be a part of the solution that leads people to recovery. There can also be dietary supplements and lifestyle changes that can be of help as well. With the sexual compulsivity, getting support to make changes away from that kind of behavior can be essential. Sometimes support groups are helpful, but often individual and/or group therapy can be important as well. In terms of individual therapy, trauma therapy can be especially effective in addressing the root cause of addictions that keep you stuck in a self-destructive cycle. The early experiences of abuse, neglect, and abandonment that formed the early nexus need to be rooted out and exposed to the light of day so their power can be dispelled when you are ready to be rid of them.
How I Can Help in Addressing ADHD and Compulsive Sexual Behavior
I have spent most of my social work career helping people overcome compulsive sexual behavior and have a lifelong interest in recovering from addictions because of my own life experiences with the issue. I know how much suffering can be caused by addictions of all sorts, as well as how trauma can contribute to developing these and ADHD. While I don’t treat ADHD per se, I can provide referrals to clinicians who can assess and treat this specifically. I use 2 forms of trauma therapy that are effective in resolving the trauma that contributes to both the above conditions and most likely will help you recover as well. You don’t have to take my word for it, however. Feel free to call me at the number listed at the top of this page, or fill out an inquiry form below, and I will be happy to arrange a time to talk to you about how I could help you in overcoming your own nexus of trauma and recovering from the related effects of this. You have been seeking a solution for a long time most likely in all your behaviors, you only need to find a healthy solution to get on the road to recovery. You deserve it and I would like to help walk with you through part of your journey.
Visit our page on sex addiction therapy to find out how Scott can help you with ADHD and compulsive sexual behavior.
About the author: Scott Kampschaefer, LCSW is a private practice therapist in Frederick, Maryland. He has an extensive background in working with depression, anxiety, and bipolar disorder at a clinic for older adults with these disorders in Austin. He now works with adults and adolescents 14 and up in private practice. His most recent book is titled The 5 Pillars of Addiction Recovery and is available for purchase on Amazon and in paperback on this website.