Do you struggle with feeling somehow distant from your partner in your primary relationship? Do you sometimes wonder if your partner still loves you? Do you sometimes wonder if your partner has your best interest at heart? If you answered yes to any of these questions then you would do well to read on!
Lack of Trust in Long-Term Relationships is a Big Problem
In a time when we are continually being pulled in different directions, it’s never been more of a challenge to keep a long-term relationship on a positive track. We have so many competing demands these days, that it is very easy to lose sight of what it is that allows you to thrive and prosper in your life. One of these things is a primary relationship to a partner in a committed relationship. When people lose sight of how important their partner is to them, then trust can erode almost instant instantaneously.
How Trust Can Erode in Long-Term Relationships
Sometimes the explanation for an erosion of trust in relationship relationships is pretty straightforward. A partner with an addiction to either a substance or behavior will automatically cause trust to erode in the relationship. Sometimes it’s more subtle, such as overworking or becoming overly involved with childcare or an adult child. Especially when you and your partner are not on the same page as far as what your priorities are, then a sense of distrust can start to grow in your relationship. The primary ingredient in these situations is selfishness, regardless of how well-intentioned you may be in your reasons for not investing in the relationship.
The ‘Why’ for Nurturing Trust in Your Long-Term Relationship
If your relationship is as important as you deem it to be, then you need to do things to nurture that trust. One of the key ways is to nurture trust is to tell the truth to your partner, even when it can be difficult. If you’re someone who tends to be a people-pleaser, then you may wind up saying yes when you really mean no to your partner. This is unfortunately a case of lying, and that will tend to breed distrust in your relationship. Being able to speak the truth to your partner in a way that is respectful to them, is a key way to nurture that trust. Sure, the truth sometimes hurts, but the main thing is that you act and speak in a trustworthy manner to your partner. That means telling them the truth at the expense of maintaining their approval.
Other Ways to Nurture Trust in a Long-Term Relationship
In addition to rigorous truth-telling, there are some other ways to build trust that are tried and true. Being as reliable and responsible for your commitments to your partner is another way to build trust. Not all ways of nurturing trust have to do with things that are serious. Having fun and other experiences of positivity in your relationship also will serve to build trust. These can be as simple as catering to your partner’s love language, or as intentional as a regular date night, where you and your partner do something that you both enjoy. Having a common fun agenda, and engaging with it are also important ways to build positivity to counter-balance any negatives that might be going on in your relationship.
What If You Struggle in Building Trust in Your Relationship?
Trust is something that can take a long time to rebuild if it has eroded for some reason in your relationship. Taking a long view of trust-building can be very helpful if you feel discouraged about where your relationship is at any given time. I’ve been helping my clients with trust issues in their relationships for my entire social work career, and I would be happy to talk with you for a brief consult to give you a better idea of whether I might be able to help you in your particular relationship situation. Feel free to call the number at the top of the page or fill out the inquiry form below, if you live in Maryland or Texas, and I will get back to you as soon as I can to schedule a phone or video consult. You, your partner, and the rest of your family all stand benefit from you taking measures to nurture trust in your long-term relationship. Getting help in doing so can make all the difference between that relationship thriving and its ultimate demise
Visit our page on couples therapy to find out more about how Scott can help you with nurturing trust in your long-term relationship.
About the author: Scott Kampschaefer, LCSW is a private practice therapist in Frederick, Maryland. He has an extensive background in working with depression, anxiety, and bipolar disorder at a clinic for older adults with these disorders in Austin, Texas. He now works with adults and adolescents 14 and up in private practice. His most recent book is titled The 5 Pillars of Addiction Recovery and is available for purchase on Amazon and in paperback on this website.